Most Father’s Day celebrations involve spending time with Dad and showing him how much he is loved and appreciated. For many people, this means cooking Dad his favorite meal, going out for a special lunch or dinner, or taking him on a day trip. Others might give Dad a gift that he has been wanting, such as tickets to a ball game or a new pair of golf clubs. Whatever the activity, Father’s Day is usually a happy occasion spent surrounded by family. For some people, however, it can be a bittersweet day. Those who have lost their father may find themselves feeling sad and lonely. Others may have strained relationships with their father and may not be able to spend the day with him. But even in these cases, Father’s Day provides an opportunity to reflect on the role that fathers play in our lives and to appreciate the time we have with them.
Now there is no perfect blueprint for what constitutes a good father, but there are certain attributes that are common among fathers who excel in this role. For most people, a good Father is someone who is loving and supportive, but also firm when necessary. He sets boundaries and provides guidance, but he also knows how to have fun and enjoy life. He is someone who is always there for his family, no matter what. He is someone who makes sacrifices for his children and does everything he can to provide for them. He is someone who is always there for his children, whether they need a shoulder to cry on or someone to celebrate with. He is someone who listens without judgement and offers wisdom and guidance when needed. He is also patient, understanding that his children are still learning and growing. He provides them with space to make mistakes and the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Most importantly, a good father loves unconditionally and sets an example for his children to follow. And the list goes on and on. While I agree that all of these characteristics are certainly consistent with what a Father should look like, it is critical to look to the creator for the ultimate definition of fatherhood.
Some of you may be thinking to yourself, “Well, I don’t believe in God, so why bother?” I’m sorry to inform you that the existence of God is not subject to relativity; He exists objectively whether you believe it or not, and He constitutes the absolute, so you must obey His commands. For proof about the objective existence of God, I’ll invite you to read my post below
It is critical to establish right away that God exists and that He is the absolute. Now that this is established, let us investigate His thoughts on what a good father is.
King Solomon’s realization
Solomon said the following in Ecclesiastes 6:1-5,
6 There is an evil that I have seen under the sun, and it lies heavy on mankind: 2 a man to whom God gives wealth, possessions, and honor, so that he lacks nothing of all that he desires, yet God does not give him power to enjoy them, but a stranger enjoys them. This is vanity;[a] it is a grievous evil. 3 If a man fathers a hundred children and lives many years, so that the days of his years are many, but his soul is not satisfied with life’s good things, and he also has no burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he. 4 For it comes in vanity and goes in darkness, and in darkness its name is covered. 5 Moreover, it has not seen the sun or known anything, yet it finds rest rather than he.
Solomon describes the worst possible outcome for a father. To have wealth, possessions, honor, or to have everything he desires. However, God does not grant him the ability or power to enjoy those things. What could be worse than that in life, and many fathers fall into one of these categories? Solomon uses another vivid real-life example to demonstrate his point. A man who fathers a large number of children and lives a long life but is unsatisfied with life’s pleasures ( eating, drinking, work, possessions, honor, children, you fill in the blanks). Even a stillborn child, according to Solomon, is better off than that Father. I don’t think I could put it any better than that; the word of God suffices. I could go on and on with these verses, but you get the picture: there is no satisfaction in life apart from GOD. What does that have to do with being a good father? Everything, this leads me to talk about the attributes of a really good Father in the eyes of God.
A Great Father Must Live By Faith
The bible tells us that without faith, it is impossible to please God. So the primary role of a Father is to seek to please God. And to please God, one must live by Faith. What does it mean to live by faith? Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God, so to live by faith is to live by acquiescing to the totality of the words of Holy Scriptures. In other words, you must treasure all the counsel of the word of God, the Bible. We are told to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, and for our minds to renewed, it must be run in tandem with God’s words ( Romans 12). So if as a father, your bible has been collecting dust, it means you’re not being a good father in the eyes of God. Why is this important, that takes me to my next point.
Your Children Are A Reflection Of Your Priorities
Your priorities will undoubtedly be reflected in your descendants. As I previously stated, there is nothing wrong with teaching your children to be good providers, to teach them financial literacy, working with their hands, and so on. All of those things are good, but there is a distinction between what is good and what is better. If all they remember from you are the mundane things of this earthly life, all you would have taught them is chasing after the wind, because when everything is set and done, one’s satisfaction comes from fellowshipping with God. All of this is to say that the first thing children should know about their Father is that He fears the Lord. You children should know that your love for God undergirds every decision you make, it ought to be within your DNA.
A Great Father Loves His Wife As Christ Loves His Bride
This is a very personal area for me because I have and continue to fail in this category, and my hope is that by the grace of the living God, I will do a better job in front of my children for the rest of the days the Lord has given me on this side of eternity. Your primary role as a husband is to love your wife as Jesus loves the church, and to do so for a specific reason: to make her Holy. Essentially, my job as a Father is to reflect Christ’s love for the Church to my wife in front of my children. This is critical because I must put into practice what I preach. If I love my wife correctly in order to make her Holy, my sons will love their future wives similarly, and my daughters will know what to expect from their husbands. See, holiness is essential; God desires that we be holy, and my marriage must reflect that. See (Ephesians 5:23-37)
He Must Discipline His Children
A good father must discipline His children but it must be done for the sake of teaching them righteousness. And this is in accordance with Hebrews 12,
My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Nowadays, parents want to be their children’s best friends, but the Bible does not teach this. A good father must not aggravate them, but must also discipline them in order to teach them righteous living. This is significant because they will be the generation of tomorrow.
All of the other characteristics mentioned in the preceding paragraphs are derived from these four major principles. In other words, a good father must necessarily be a God-fearing father. If, on the other hand, you do not fear the Lord and are a Father, you are not a good Father ( at least before God). This post was not written to irritate or provoke anyone, but it was inspired by a genuine desire to speak the Truth.